An End of an Era...


I wrote this a few weeks ago but never posted. It's not totally finished but here it is the way it stands:

In less than two weeks it will be the end of an era. The end of a time in my life when I found more of myself. A time when I finally found real friends. A time when I allowed myself to live and love and lose. A time that started out as mere survival and turned into something real.

When I came to Utah State University in August of 2007, I was weak, wary, and weathered. After withdrawing from BYU less than a year earlier, I was still tentative about starting college again.When I left BYU in November 2006, I didn't know if I would ever return to college. Uprooted by severe, clinical depression, life seemed hopeless. While I still had a will to live, I no longer possessed hope in my ability to live the life I had imagined. Waking up and getting dressed was a big accomplishment during those days. It was my inability to function at a normal level that led me to leaving BYU. I couldn't keep running at such a furious pace. I was too worn down. I had nothing left to give.

Leaving BYU saved my life. Coming to USU made my life.

"There's something about this place that makes me think I could be more than I ever could be." Simple words on a 4x6 postcard. Words rehearsed to hundreds of SOAR students in the summer of 2009. Words that inspired one who was hopeless. Words that confirmed USU was the right choice.

4 comments:

Jenny said...

Really proud of you, Clarissa!

jjfid said...

I learn each time I read your musings. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings Clarissa. I admire, respect, and love you! xoxox
Auntie
ps.. LOVE the cool picture! Did you take that?? :-)

jjfid said...

I Love Dandelions!! :-)

Jen said...

I just feel the need to tell you that the title made me a little sad. I don't want anything to end, and yet we graduated so there it is.