An End of an Era...

I wrote this a few weeks ago but never posted. It's not totally finished but here it is the way it stands:

In less than two weeks it will be the end of an era. The end of a time in my life when I found more of myself. A time when I finally found real friends. A time when I allowed myself to live and love and lose. A time that started out as mere survival and turned into something real.

When I came to Utah State University in August of 2007, I was weak, wary, and weathered. After withdrawing from BYU less than a year earlier, I was still tentative about starting college again.When I left BYU in November 2006, I didn't know if I would ever return to college. Uprooted by severe, clinical depression, life seemed hopeless. While I still had a will to live, I no longer possessed hope in my ability to live the life I had imagined. Waking up and getting dressed was a big accomplishment during those days. It was my inability to function at a normal level that led me to leaving BYU. I couldn't keep running at such a furious pace. I was too worn down. I had nothing left to give.

Leaving BYU saved my life. Coming to USU made my life.

"There's something about this place that makes me think I could be more than I ever could be." Simple words on a 4x6 postcard. Words rehearsed to hundreds of SOAR students in the summer of 2009. Words that inspired one who was hopeless. Words that confirmed USU was the right choice.


Jenny said...

Really proud of you, Clarissa!

jjfid said...

I learn each time I read your musings. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings Clarissa. I admire, respect, and love you! xoxox
ps.. LOVE the cool picture! Did you take that?? :-)

jjfid said...

I Love Dandelions!! :-)

Jen said...

I just feel the need to tell you that the title made me a little sad. I don't want anything to end, and yet we graduated so there it is.