Saying what you need to say....

In life there are times we doubt if we have the ability to say what we need to say the moment we need to say it. You've Got Mail has provided an opinion on the subject, as has John Mayer in his song "Say What You Need to Say". I am sure other examples abound. At times I have been paralyzed by fear or doubt, unable to articulate the words I so badly need to speak. Sometimes it the sheer fear of not be able to tell another person what you truly feel, holding nothing back, guts football all the way.

It takes true effort to lay everything out on the table, to truly open yourself to another human being. Most instances where I have struggled to open my heart to someone I have been crushed, rejected, not wanted back. Yet, I have continued to attempt to "lay it out there" with the hope and knowledge that one day doing so would not end in heartbreak and catastrophe. I have experienced a day with a happy ending.

Recently I have found that there are moments when you can say exactly what you need to say and remorse does not inevitably follow. As hard as it is to be completely honest with someone, if you care enough about the relationship and that person, you CAN do it. You can even reveal those secrets or typically undisclosed, personal facts or insights that everyone else tells you not to tell a person. Admitting faults and weakness can be empowering. Without those confessions, it's hard to truly know a person. Honesty may be hard, but I feel like it always pays off.

John Mayer sings:

You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Regardless of whether everyone says your crazy, your best friend doesn't agree with you, or it seems you are fighting a losing battle, I believe it is better to do what you know you need to do, rather than let fear of the unknown control your actions. Sometimes that means walking away completely, other times that means having a frank conversation. It is possible to open your heart to another person and reveal everything your proud of and ashamed of, all at the same time, and still have them sitting there in front of you, truly listening to your personal revelations. Opening your heart doesn't always mean sure rejection. Opening your heart to another person and saying what you need to say, can end happily. I didn't always used to think that. I am grateful to those who are helping me experience the joy of saying what I need to say and having that received in a positive manner.

There is so much fear that surrounds the unknown, especially when the obstacles don't hesitate to stare at you as if they had their own eyes. Future tripping is both a blessing and a curse. Even if you don't know what's going to happen, even if it seems impossible, if whatever your seeking is worth fighting for...you need to fight. Even if it scares the hell out of you, even if it's the hardest thing you have to do, I believe in fighting. Fighting can mean just opening your mouth, taking the time and making the effort to understand another person and have them do the same. Communication is amazing, hard, messy, and valuable.

Honesty in communication brings unmatched clarity.