A Lonely Princess

As little girls our minds are painted with elaborate canvases of fairytales. Stories of handsome princes, damsels in distress, and fire-breathing dragons; a fantasy world we pretend to be a part of. Boxes in playrooms are filled with tutus, diamond tiaras, and our mothers’ attempts as royal dress makers. I was a little girl like this once and all my life I too have dreamed of finding my prince charming incarnate. From these doctrines of my youth I find that my perception of love falls into the fairytale category but the problem is, I don’t even know how to pretend. I see love as some type of mystical magic that will one day fly past my window and transform my life. It is as if I cannot access my own fairy godmother. My innocence is gone; I know that she does not exist, that in the end stories don’t always end in happily ever after. I cringe at my cynicism and wonder how it has beset me at the age of only 20. Even as I write this I cannot fully expresses my view. I think sometimes I feel that maybe I am destined to be an ugly step-sister, who never gets her prince. My fellow ladies of the court are one by one participating in the art of chivalry to find their stately barons, majestic knights, and amiable princes. Writers of today have designed and crafted their own versions of fairytales to meet the demands of the modern era. I crave romanticism but lack romance. I desire companionship but more often than not find myself alone. Is it really that easy? One day I am out picking berries in the woods, practicing my vocal abilities and then my prince appears on horseback and we are in love? I do not understand how it happens! I am surrounded by the happily wedded and find it a mystery. As a child you invent your own prince but he never appears because he isn’t supposed to. But what about now? I am a fair maiden that has not captured the eye, let alone the love, of a prince. She doesn’t know how, she is secretly afraid that no prince will ever make her his queen. I am of royal blood but cannot find my crown.

1 comment:

jjfid said...

wow... you have really captured deep emotion Rissy. I admire your willingness to be vulnerable and explore your thoughts and feelings. It helps me articulate my own thoughts when I read yours. I have kept mine buried deep inside for 46 years and am finally beginning to even acknowledge that they are there. Thanks for your boldness and honesty.
Love you xoxo Auntie