Driving home last Thursday, I listened to Vedera's track: Loving Ghosts. As I sang "And it haunts me to hold you this close but it hurts me more to let go...that's why I'm still loving ghosts...traces of you will last forever" I recognized that the song no longer applies to my life. For me, its painful sentiment has been a too common reality. But now I know traces of pain, experience, and heartache will not haunt me forever. I’m living instead of still loving ghosts.
I’ve always struggled to live in the present. For a majority of my life I’ve been too focused on a plan for the future and the joys or heartaches of the past. When I invest in something or someone I give my entire heart, careful to fulfill all prerequisites before entering the next phase. I've had to learn that while it hurts to let go, too often it hurts more too hold on to something or someone that’s already gone. There is strength in being brave enough to let go. Owning up to your mistakes instead of keeping them on repeat. Moving past hurt feelings armed with hope for the future. Ghosts are a natural consequence to life, but we choose whether or not we live among the dead.
I used to see life as this straight path with no room for wrong turns or dead ends. Coming to a fork in the road was a major crisis. Now I see that both paths could be good, or that maybe you have to go down one to get to another. Yes, there are still wrong and right answers, crucial decisions in life. Backing up and turning around makes it a journey. Most of us don’t get to our destination the first time and sometimes we even get lost when we try to come back again. Different routes produce different results, but as long as our final destination is always in sight, I think we can all do just fine. Not all who wander are aimless.
Posted by Clarissa Earl