Around my corner you will find...a girl who's hair is the color of dark chocolate taffy. A twenty something who is a hopeless romantic, but someone who also has had enough life experience to realize life isn't really like the movies. My soul has been shattered. My heart has been tried. Darwin was right in the sense that we all evolve, we have to learn to survive ourselves. We are own predators, our own threat to extinction. In a world of elaborately woven deceptions, in the end, we can hold the high hand in the game of deceiving ourselves.
It’s hard to be positive when there isn’t a track record to back the notion. You want to believe, but the science of the matter, the facts, the outcomes to the previous experiments, have all gone in opposition to your favor. I watch these movies and become absorbed in stories about women who don’t know themselves, who are hiding behind a façade of the tinted glass of loss. I identify with their emotions, thoughts, and perceptions…but see for me…there hasn’t been a guy at the end of the tunnel to make everything appear rosy again.
With everything in my life it has always seemed to me that I had the power to control it, that every time anything went wrong it was always my complete and utter fault, there was no other plausible explanation for why when everything should be right, it still was not. I don’t hate my life but I don’t understand it. I don’t like to give things credit because I know they could be so much worse, everything comes with a disclaimer. But the truth is, for me, my world, what I knew, what I wanted, what I thought has shattered. How do you find hope in a world that doesn’t seem to supply it? Are we really powerful enough to make our own?